1. |
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The blues have lived next door to me for many years
And just across the street have always been the tears
But a funny thing's been happening, since you and I did meet
There's moving trucks all up and down the street
CHORUS
There goes the neighborhood
This time they're gone for good
The memories, the heartaches and the cares
They're leaving me behind
I thought they never would
But there goes the neighborhood
Around the corner where the troubles always used to be
Well it's said that they left town quite unexpectedly
And it seems the hurts and sorrows are just nowhere to be found
They last were seen the day you came around
REPEAT CHORUS
Now the welcome wagon's out to greet the joys and the delights
The comforts and the pleasure are all settled in tonight
REPEAT CHORUS
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2. |
Worst Case Scenario
03:07
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I could jump out of an airplane, then realize my parachute won’t operate
I could be on board a sinking ship in waters where white sharks are known to congregate
I could be beaten, robbed and left for dead, stark naked in the middle of the barrio
But to have to live without your love, well that would be a worst case scenario
I could stumble into quicksand in a swamp that’s overrun by hungry crocodiles
I could be stranded in the jungle, with no other human being within a thousand miles
I could be stuffed inside a barrel, rolling down Niagara Falls toward Lake Ontario
But to have to live without your love, well that would be a worst case scenario
Well every day I’m walking on a wire
No safety net to catch me if I fall
Though some may call my situation dire
As long as I’ve got you, I know things ain’t that bad at all
An unexpected lightning storm could strike just as I’m walking past a power-line
An avalanche could trap me at the bottom of a Colorado copper mine
You know I’d rather swallow cyanide than lose you to some dashing young Lothario
Cause to have to live without your love, well that would be a worst case scenario
Yes to have to live without your love, well that would be a worst case scenario
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3. |
Barbecue Sauce
02:45
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Well it’s good on ribs, and it’s great on steak
Yeah I use it to liven up everything I like to make
When I put my chef’s hat on, you know I’m the boss
And I say everything tastes better with barbecue sauce
Teriyaki’s tasty, mesquite is good
There are some folks out there who swear by hickory wood
But go up the list from zucchini right through albatross
I’m telling you everything tastes better with barbecue sauce
CHORUS
Barbecue sauce, barbecue sauce
I buy it by the gallon, don’t care what it costs
So strap on your feed bag now and sit down, hoss
I’m telling you everything tastes better with barbecue sauce
Well it’s fine on chicken, and it’s right on roast
Me I even put barbecue sauce on my French toast
Well you can stick with your maple syrup, that’s your loss
I’m telling you everything tastes better with barbecue sauce
REPEAT CHORUS
Well lather it on, slather it on
I use a lot on pork chops, more on filet mignon
And when the meal’s over, don’t forget to brush and floss
Oh Lord I wish they made of toothpaste that tastes like barbecue sauce
REPEAT CHORUS
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4. |
Regrets Only
04:34
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CHORUS
Regrets only
So the invitation read
Regrets only
Ah yes, that’s what it said
And I know I should be thrilled
But I’ve never felt so lonely
Cause tonight my heart is filled
With regrets only
Well it sounds as though you’re planning quite a wedding
And I guess you’ve found the perfect groom-to-be
But your happy day is one that I’ll be dreading
Cause I always dreamed that you’d end up with me
REPEAT CHORUS
Guess I should be flattered to have been invited
Cause I lost track of you quite some time ago
But my love for you was always unrequited
And I never found the nerve to let you know
Well I’m glad you’ve got your fairy-tale ending
And I wish you many years of happiness
Ah but as for me I will not be attending
But won’t you please allow me to express
REPEAT CHORUS
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5. |
Amanda Peet
04:34
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I wanna meet
Amanda Peet
And take her out to dinner
Buy her something good to eat
She seems so sweet
Amanda Peet
A bit less anorexic
And I think she’d be complete
Well we could dine on her veranda
That wouldn’t be too hard to take
I’d whisper “I love you, Amanda
How ‘bout another piece of cake?”
I’ll be discreet
Amanda Peet
Cause I know those paparazzi
Chase you up and down the street
But it must be neat
Amanda Peet
To spend all of your time among
The Hollywood elite
Just don’t believe their propaganda
That thin and beautiful equate
Cause I am telling you Amanda
That you could stand to gain some weight
She hasn’t won an Oscar yet and I think that’s a crime
I’ve seen The Whole Nine Yards I bet at least a couple hundred times
She’s so petite
Amanda Peet
But carrot sticks and celery
Won’t keep her on her feet
So have a seat
Amanda Peet
And order up a leg of lamb
Tell ‘em it’s my treat
And when I’m finished with Amanda
And I have bid a fond farewell
I’ll work on Julia and Sandra
They look too thin to me as well . . . well
I wanna meet
Amanda Peet
And take her out to dinner
Buy her something good to eat
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6. |
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People say we’re wrong for one another
But it feels so right with every stolen kiss
So we’ve sworn a little secret to each other
It ain’t over 'til we say it is
We both have others to whom we are promised
But I’m bound to break her heart, like you’ll break his
Cause we can’t deny our feelings if we’re honest
And it ain’t over 'til we say it is
Everybody’s got opinions
And they express ‘em all the time
But the only ones that matter
In the end are yours and mine
It’s true someday our love may lose its luster
Like a glass of fine champagne that’s lost its fizz
But as long as we have any strength to muster
It ain’t over 'til we say it is
It ain’t over 'til we say it is
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7. |
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On a lovely summer day
I'm listening to a baseball game
Announcer gives the play by play
A batter connects and you can hear him exclaim
CHORUS:
[That’s] Long gone and hard to find
A streak of light in the sky
Long gone and hard to find
Kiss that baby goodbye
On a lovely autumn day
I’m listening to a sparrow sing
But it’s getting late and he can’t stay
Come this time tomorrow he’ll have taken his wing
CHORUS
[And be] Long gone and hard to find
A streak of light in the sky
Long gone and hard to find
Kiss that baby good . . .
. . . By and by the seasons pass
Never to return
And what we count on doesn’t last
You’d think that we would learn
On a gloomy winter’s day
I’m listening to an airplane’s roar
My own true love is flying away
Don’t ask where she’s bound because I’m really not sure
CHORUS
She’s just . . .
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8. |
Means To An End
04:13
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Gonna get myself a puppy, take it over to the park
Where Loretta does pilates every day at 12 o’clock
When I’m playing with the puppy, I’ll be sure to catch her eye
And she’ll see that I’m a caring and a sensitive guy
Well I don’t care that much for puppies, but I’m happy to pretend
I guess that you could say that it’s a means to an end
Well she’s five foot seven; she got big blue eyes
I got my head in the game; got my eye on the prize
I’m gonna make her notice me, and mister until then
Everything I do is just a means to an end
Gonna trade in my old pickup for a shiny red Corvette
Though I know the monthly payments just might put me into debt
But Loretta is a girl who isn’t easily impressed
So when I take her out I need to show her nothing but the best
And once I’ve swept her off her feet, well I can always trade it in
But for now I’ll just consider it a means to an end
Well she’s five foot seven; she got big blue eyes
I got my head in the game; got my eye on the prize
She’s gonna fall in love with me, and mister until then
Everything I do is just a means to an end
Whoever said the end doesn’t justify the means
Has never seen Loretta in a pair of blue jeans
And once I’ve won her heart and I don’t need that ‘Vette no more
I’ll take the proceeds from the trade-in to the jewelry store
Where I’ll try to find a diamond worthy of Loretta’s hand
It’ll weigh at least a karat with a matching wedding band
Well she can wave it all around and show it off to all her friends
But as far as I’m concerned it’s just a means to an end
Well she’s five foot seven; she got big blue eyes
I got my head in the game; got my eye on the prize
Well she’s gonna marry me, and mister until then
Everything I do is just a means to an end
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9. |
Mighty Sam McClain
05:31
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Born in Louisiana, 1943
Didn’t have a penny to his name
Ran off to join the Chitlin' Circuit when he was just 13
Where he soon was known as Mighty Sam McClain
Now in northern Alabama, there’s a town called Muscle Shoals
A studio there by the name of Fame
Where Sam belted out “Sweet Dreams of You” with all his heart and soul
And the word was spread ‘bout Mighty Sam McClain
CHORUS
Mighty Sam, Mighty Sam
Well let’s hear it for the mighty mighty man
And to all remaining passengers on board that old soul train
Thank God we still got Mighty Sam McClain
Ten thousand miles of highway, a hundred cheap motels
And one night stands from Florida to Maine
Like Arthur Conley, Percy Sledge, James Carr and William Bell
Well down that road went Mighty Sam McClain
Then soul turned into disco, and Sam he lost his way
Threw everything he had on down the drain
Till he wound up sweeping floors in some New Orleans cafe
Where they’d never heard of Mighty Sam McClain
REPEAT CHORUS
Sam got himself together, and he moved to Boston town
That’s where he started singing once again
And a whole new generation’s now been turned on to the sound
That emanates from Mighty Sam McClain
So won’t you join me now and raise your glass high in the air
To welcome back by popular acclaim
Appearing Friday down at Johnny D’s in Davis Square
The one and only Mighty Sam McClain
REPEAT CHORUS
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10. |
If She Wasn't Half Bad
04:49
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When I fell for my baby
I knew things wouldn't be easy
She's got a wild streak in her
That nobody can tame
But that gleam in her eye
You know I'm crazy about it
And the truth is without it
I wouldn't feel the same
CHORUS
Cause if she wasn't half bad
I'm afraid she's be all bad
Staying out 'til the morning
Instead of just coming home late
Truth is I love her wild side
And I've come to discover
I'm not sure I would love her
If she wasn't half bad
I come home in the evening
And she's putting on makeup
She tells me, "Baby don't wait up
I'll be out most of the night"
Well I don't care what she's doing
When she's painting the town red
Cause when she comes home to our bed
She makes everything right
Then she pulls me close to her
Tells me don't ever leave her
And you know I believe her
And that she wouldn't lie
Cause when she's good, she's so good
And I know I'll love her forever
But I just hope that she never
Loses that gleam in her eye
REPEAT CHORUS
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11. |
General Gao
03:24
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In the season of the dragon, near the province of Hunan
A brave young Chinese general crushed the rebels of Nian
Well you can scour your history books, his name will not be found
But it’s recognized at every Chinese take-out joint in town
General Gao, General Gao
The bravest man in China, but he’s just chicken now
The ginger and the garlic make it all taste right somehow
Let’s have another piece of General Gao
He drove the Taiping army from the city of Nanjing
And his name became a legend in the Dynasty of Ching
If you don’t see the irony, you must be pretty dim
He used to order thousands, but now thousands order him
General Gao, General Gao
Fearless and courageous, but he’s just chicken now
When Nixon went to China, and had lunch with Chairman Mao
They had a great big dish of General Gao
It’s said that when the General was about to pass away
His men asked if he’d any final words he’d like to say
He turned to his Lieutenant and said, “Write this down if you would:
I’m thinkin’ chicken fried in sesame oil might taste pretty good”
Well there’s Wellington and Stroganoff, a beef dish name for each
And Caesar had his salad, and Melba had her peach
But on this list the General’s name you surely must include
Someone with his accomplishments ought not to be pooh-poohed
General Gao, General Gao
The bravest man in China, but he’s just chicken now
And if I had one wish that God would promise to allow
I’d say, “Praise the Lord, and pass the General Gao"
“Praise the Lord, and pass the General Gao”
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12. |
That's All She Wrote
04:03
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Last night I went out drinking
When I got home I was a-thinking we'd been robbed
Her closet it was empty, thee were boxes strewn all over the curb
The bed stripped of all its linen
Was what told me it had been an inside job
Cause it was her things that were missing, while all my things they had been left undisturbed
Then I looked down
And saw the note
"I'll see you 'round"
That's all she wrote
That's all she wrote
After all those years together
You'd think she could do better
And at least leave me a letter
And not just some silly note
But all she wrote down
And let me quote
"I'll see you 'round"
That's all she wrote
If I'd only stopped my running
Then I might've seen it coming from the start
But she had always been there for me, so I assumed that everything was fine
And I guess I took for granted
That I'd never be supplanted in my heart
And when she needed me the most, it seems that somehow I could never find the time
So why should she
Have to devote
More time to me
That's all she wrote
That's all she wrote
After all those years together
You'd think she could do better
And at least leave me a letter
And not just some silly note
But I'm sorrow bound
Cause quote unquote
"I'll see you 'round"
That's all she wrote
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Mark Stepakoff Boston, Massachusetts
"One of the best songwriters I have ever heard" - Christine Lavin
Singer-songwriter
Mark Stepakoff has been widely admired on the Boston folk and roots music scene for more than 20 years. His songs comprise a mix of humorous and poignant material in a style reminiscent of artists like John Prine or more contemporary songwriters such as Hayes Carll, and have drawn raves locally and nationally.
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