1. |
Some Assembly Required
02:39
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My poor old heart’s been broke at least a thousand times or more
There still may be some pieces lying somewhere on the floor
It falls apart so easily; I guess that’s how it’s wired
Some assembly required
If you’re into reclamation projects, I’ve got one for you
Can you put me back together, make me feel as good as new?
Can you resurrect the dreams to which I formerly aspired?
Some assembly required
Well I’m happy to provide to you some sticky tape and glue
Paper clips and rubber bands and every kind of screw
Cause the way I’m held together now leaves much to be desired
Some assembly required
Well I’m happy to provide to you some sticky tape and glue
Paper clips and rubber bands and every kind of screw
But just how the pieces fit could leave most anyone quagmired
Some assembly required
Verse 3:
And once I’m reassembled, I may take a while to heal
So please stay with me my darling while the pieces all congeal
Yes if you can start this minute, then you’re definitely hired
Some assembly required
Some assembly required
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2. |
Liquor Don't Lie
03:01
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It’s quarter past four
When you open the door
And finally come a-stumblin’ in
A real sorry sight
Having spent the whole night
Mixing Jameson and bathtub gin
Now who’s waiting there
At the top of the stairs
It’s your ever-understanding wife
You need a story somehow
But it seems that right now
You can’t think of one to save your life
CHORUS 1:
Liquor don’t lie
I’m here to tell you all
It’s like a great big shot of sodium pentathol
Stays on your breath
Makes you look like death
Puts the color in a bloodshot eye
Your alibi
Just went awry
Liquor don’t lie
Whiskey and ale
Have spawned many a tale
Ever since the world was young
And everyone thinks
If you have enough drinks
That’ll loosen up a nervous tongue
Till you’re spinning a yarn
That’s as long as your arm
But it never seems to quite translate
Cause when your vision’s blurred
And your speech is slurred
It’s hard to keep your story straight
CHORUS 2:
Liquor don’t lie
It don’t even fib
It’s like a giant neon sign flashing every foolish thing you did
Well you’ve rehearsed your lines
‘Bout a million times
But now suddenly your mouth’s gone dry
Your story won’t fly
I think you know why
Liquor don’t lie
Repeat Chorus (1st half of Chorus 2, 2nd half of Chorus 1)
Reprise:
No it ain’t gonna fly
I’m telling you why
Liquor don’t lie
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3. |
Vicarious
03:41
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Well come sit down beside me, my young friend
And tell me all about your wild weekend
Did you hit a bunch of parties; did you go out on the town?
Did you drink shots of tequila till you closed the last bar down?
Tell me every detail; that’s the least that you can do
So I can live vicariously through you
Well once I was young as you are now
I was crazy but I made it through somehow
But now I’m more responsible; I’m sure you understand
These days the way I get my thrills is strictly second-hand
So tell me ‘bout some fine mess that you got yourself into
So I can live vicariously through you
Did you finally go to dinner with that sweet young thing in billing?
Did she wear that skirt that rides above her knee?
Did you take her back to your place and was it mutually fulfilling?
If it was good for you, then it was good for me
Oh tell me how you played her like a vintage Stradivarius
Cause these days all my pleasures are vicarious
I hear that club downtown is all the rage
But everybody there is half my age
And it doesn’t even draw a crowd till after 1 a.m.
While me I’m always all tucked in and fast asleep by then
But you can make me feel like I was there the whole night through
When you let me live vicariously through you
I understand tonight you’re taking out that little redhead
Oh I hope she wears that strapless mini-dress
Well I’m sure she’d have no interest in this aging former deadhead
But I guess I’ll get to know her pretty well nevertheless
Yes it's great that you're so active and your interests are so various
Cause these days all my pleasures are vicarious
Well do you ever dream about a life
With two or maybe three kids and a wife
And a house out in the suburbs with a garden and a yard
And soccer games and carpools and a lazy St. Bernard
Then sit right down my young friend and I’ll brew a pot of tea
And you can live vicariously through me
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4. |
Dead Man's Hand
04:01
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Out in Deadwood, South Dakota a century has passed
Since Bill Hickok played the card game that would prove to be his last
Never should have sat where he couldn’t see the door
As the bullets wracked his body, his cards fell down on the floor
Dead man’s hand, dead man’s hand
Soon the word spread like wildfire all across the land
How the aces and eights had sealed his fate
Dead man’s hand, dead man’s hand
Now you peak at your cards and you try not to smile
Two pair is the best hand you’ve been dealt in quite a while
Then you take another look and it hits you with a jolt
A little voice is telling you to fold your cards and bolt
Dead man’s hand, dead man’s hand
Time to ask yourself, are you a superstitious man?
With aces and eights, do you tempt fate?
Dead man’s hand, dead man’s hand
Some fool throws half his stack in but you know he’s holding nothing
‘Cause he taps his fingers on the table every time he’s bluffing
Then another fellow calls him and the guy next to you raises
You tell yourself you haven’t seen a pot this big in ages
Now there’s a knot in your stomach and a lump is in your throat
You stayed in with your two pair and lost out to a sevens boat
In the sky there’s thunder booming though there’s not a drop of rain
Is that Wild Bill reaching out for you and calling out your name?
Dead man’s hand, dead man’s hand
Leading you away to the valley of the damned
With aces and eights, you sealed your fate
Dead man’s hand, dead man’s hand
Dead man's hand, dead man's hand
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5. |
Huevos Rancheros
03:10
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Woke up this morning, my head in a fog
I drank like a fish last night and ate like a hog
Won’t somebody bring me some hair of the dog
And a plate full of huevos rancheros
I call Jose Cuervo a personal friend
Should’ve known that the worm always turns in the end
So call up room service and ask ‘em to send
A plate full of huevos rancheros
Huevos ranchros, por favor
For whatever ails you that’s the cure
A bottle of aspirin, a pitcher of somberos
And a mucho grande plate full of huevos rancheros
Serve ‘em over corn tortillas very lightly fried
With some rosarita refried beans and salsa on the side
Well your stomach will say gracias and your headache will subside
With a plate full of huevos rancheros
Huevos rancheros, por favor
And when we’re finished, order up some more
Been doing the trick since the time of the Pharaohs
A mucho grande plate full of huevos rancheros
We’ll siesta, then fiesta and then
Manana I’ll be right back here again
Muy bien
For some huevos rancheros, por favor
Cause there’s another crazy night in store
So join me, mis amigos y todos companeros
For a mucho grande plate full of huevos rancheros
Yes a mucho grande plate full
And I will be so grateful
A mucho grande plate full of huevos rancheros
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6. |
Worst Kept Secret
04:06
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On our quiet little block
People sure love to talk
Innuendo and rumors abound
You think I’m unaware
Of your little affair
But it’s the worst kept secret in town
I go out on the street
Everybody I meet
Seems to mumble and stare at the ground
Trying hard not to show
That they already know
‘Bout the worst kept secret in town
:
The chatter’s incessant
But so adolescent
As swiftly the story is spread
There’s truth and there’s gossip
I guess it’s a toss-up
In terms of which one I most dread
With a dodge and a ruse
And another excuse
You must think that I’m some kind of clown
I’ll admit I’m naive
But I’ve come to believe
The worst kept secret in town
If the stress and the strain
Of this whispering campaign
Leaves me lying in the river, face down
When the inquest is through
Just attribute it to
The worst kept secret in town
The worst kept secret in town
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7. |
Let's Get This Over With
03:13
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Miss, may I buy you a drink?
No, this isn’t what you think
‘Cause if I get to know you
Someday you will break my heart
So let’s cut right to the chase
Throw that drink right in my face
And put me in my place before the small-talk even starts
Let’s get this over with
I’m a busy man
I already know the script
Like the back of my hand
You’re gonna make me cry
And leave me blue
So let’s get this over with
I got things to do
They say that as a general rule
Only the biggest kind of fool
Repeats the same mistakes
But thinks they’ll turn out differently
So I won’t ask you “What’s your sign?”
Or try some other corny line
Just please don’t shine them baby blues in my vicinity
Let’s get this over with
I’m a busy man
I already know the script
Like the back of my hand
You’re gonna make me cry
We both know that’s true
So let’s get this over with
I got things to . . .
Do the laundry, pay the bills
Fix my car, take my pills
Buy some groceries, write my will
Seems my day’s completely filled
So let’s get this over with
I’m a busy man
I already know the script
Like the back of my hand
You’re gonna make me cry
What else is new?
So let’s get this over with
I got things to do
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8. |
Chevy Biscayne
04:58
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Etched deep into memory
Is a world that’s no longer there
Filled with black and white TV
And Tiparillo smoke in the air
My dad would get home from work every evening around seven o’clock
I’d be standing at the window waiting for him to turn on to our block
Then he’d pull up to our house just past the traffic light at Second and Main
And he’d give me a wave from the end of the drive
In our Chevy Biscayne
The bottom of the Chevrolet line
The first new car that he ever bought
But to him it was as fine
As any Cadillac on the lot
On Saturdays he’d wake me up at seven and we’d drive into town
At the barbershop he’d show me off to everybody hanging around
Then he’d take me for a burger at this joint just off the county two-lane
And when we got home I’d help him polish the chrome
On our Chevy Biscayne
But as I started getting older
Seems I saw my father less
He and mom were always fighting
At some point he’d had enough I guess
Heard the revving of the engine
Very late one winter’s night
I looked out my bedroom window
Watched those tail-lights fade from sight
I didn’t get a letter goodbye
I didn’t get a phone call hello
I didn’t ask why
I’m not sure I even wanted to know
Mom took a job on the switchboard at the Viking Hotel
Managed to support us both till I was old enough to pitch in as well
Still in all that time I never heard her speak about my father again
But in her bottom dresser drawer there was a picture I saw
Of him in our Chevy Biscayne
I guess I can honestly say
I don’t think about him much anymore
Someone said he passed away
From a heart attack in ‘74
I’m married now myself and I’ve got kids ages seven and three
On Saturdays I take ‘em into town in our new SUV
But ain’t it funny how a memory can keep on rattling ‘round in your brain?
And every now and then I feel like I’m behind the wheel
Of our Chevy Biscayne
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9. |
Little Black Dress
03:11
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When baby’s going out to a party
She always likes to wear something chic
And she sips on a coke and Bacardi
While the crowd murmurs “tres magnifique”
She always gets her share of attention
And she’s come to expect it I guess
But she takes it to another dimension
When baby wears her little black dress
It clings to her in all the right places
As if it was sprayed on with a can
And she loves to steal a glance at the faces
Of every wide-eyed and tongue-tied man
There’s a palpable sense of desire
And an air there of dangerousness
Like gasoline poured on a fire
When baby wears her little black dress
She’s got a little black dress and it’s made of silk
Pearls around her neck are as white as milk
Spaghetti shoulder straps and a satin bow
A pair of Jimmy Choos and she’s good to go
Now the party appears to be over
And the street’s lined with stretch limousines
Ah but she gets into her Toyota
And drives back to her family in Queens
She’s a wonderful wife and a mother
But it’s nice to know nevertheless
That she can still turn a whole room aflutter
When baby wears her little black dress (3X)
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10. |
Sleepin' On The Sofa
04:30
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Well my baby’s got eyes of hazel and hair of red
She’s got a fiery temper on her that can raise the dead
I said something to her and I guess it didn’t come out right
Now all I know is that I’m sleepin’ on the sofa tonight
I try to figure out what I must have done to anger her so
She says if I gotta ask, she's not gonna let me know
It’s the same old story, every time we have us a fight
I’m banned from the bedroom and I’m sleepin’ on the sofa tonight
Well I’m in the doghouse, I’m on the outs
The more I apologize, the more she pouts
I beg and I plead but she just shouts
“Get out of my sight”
We got a king-size bed that we bought last fall
I guess I’ll be lucky if I get to see it at all
Cause I’m down the hall, sleepin’ on the sofa tonight
It’s missing an armrest and it reeks of formaldehyde
It’s stiff as a board and my legs hang over the side
It wasn’t built to be slept on by somebody of my weight and height
But here I am again, sleepin’ on the sofa tonight
Well I’m in the doghouse, I’m on the outs
The more I apologize, the more she pouts
I beg and I plead but she just shouts
“Get out of my sight”
I bring home a little something from the jewelry store
But she says it’s gonna cost me a whole lot more
I guess that’s for sure, cause I’m sleepin’ on the sofa tonight
Well I’m in the doghouse, I’m on the outs
The more I apologize, the more she pouts
I beg and I plead but she just shouts
“Get out of my sight”
Well I’ll buy her flowers and I’ll draw her a bath
Do anything I can just to escape her wrath
If in the aftermath I won’t be sleepin’ on the sofa tonight
Well I’ll serve her dinner on a silver tray
I'll bring it to the bedroom if she’ll only say
That she’ll let me stay instead of sleepin’ on the sofa
Cause there ain’t no way I should be sleepin’ on the sofa
I just hope and pray I won’t be sleepin’ on the sofa tonight
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11. |
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The war was finally over and the boys were all back home
Truman was elected to a full term of his own
And the country was returning to a sense of normalcy
When Vernon moved from Tupelo to Memphis, Tennessee
Well he had lived in Tupelo since he was seventeen
But the times he’d held a steady job were few and far between
And folks knew about his stint down in the penitentiary
So Vernon moved from Tupelo to Memphis, Tennessee
He packed up his wife and his sole surviving son
Still wondering why the good Lord had to take the other one
A dozen years had come and gone but not the memory
When Vernon moved from Tupelo to Memphis, Tennessee
Well on the streets of Memphis everybody knew the rules
There were white and colored churches; there were white and colored schools
And that was never gonna change as far as anyone could see
When Vernon moved from Tupelo to Memphis, Tennessee
But meanwhile down on Beale Street something new was in the air
The blues would ring out day and night, and all were welcome there
And the radio was playing all the latest R&B
When Vernon moved from Tupelo to Memphis, Tennessee
Just another good old boy moving out of state
Just a hundred mile drive up Route 78
Whoever would’ve guessed he’d be making history
When Vernon moved from Tupelo to Memphis, Tennessee (3X)
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Mark Stepakoff Boston, Massachusetts
"One of the best songwriters I have ever heard" - Christine Lavin
Singer-songwriter
Mark Stepakoff has been widely admired on the Boston folk and roots music scene for more than 20 years. His songs comprise a mix of humorous and poignant material in a style reminiscent of artists like John Prine or more contemporary songwriters such as Hayes Carll, and have drawn raves locally and nationally.
... more
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